Dear students,
These are your results and some comments based on the last Paper 2 Essays you carried out in class.
ALBERTO GARCÍA
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 3 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 2 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 5 /5 marks
Total Score: 20 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Very deep insights regarding the question being asked. Organised structure and clear. Although, to start off a literary essay like this, you must begin from the most general and you must aim at attracting your audience. You might want to use a rhetorical question at the beginning, instead of referring directly to the elements needed for analysis in the introduction! Also, you need more analysis and specific reference to what each of the books provide in terms of author’s background, plot, characters, historical background, etc. and the way each author uses word choice and stylistic features to convey their messages. I sense you went too far in the theoretical side, and there was little reference to the books which you absolutely need in this essay.
CRISTÓBAL LÉNIZ
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 4 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 4 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 4 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 3 /5 marks
Total Score: 20 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: A good attempt at responding the essay question. Even though you have managed to show understanding of both novels, you must remember that when you write your official Paper 2 Essay you will not have the original sources with you. Therefore, including specific quotes in this particular case is of no use. You must refer to the specific rhetorical elements, and also identify the reasons why the author uses them consistently throughout the novels. I would have liked you to put the question in the title. You must point out which question you’re answering very clearly. Also, be careful with subject-verb agreement, some grammar conventions and word order!
DAN EIDELSTEIN
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 3 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 3 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 3 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 4 /5 marks
Total Score: 18 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: It’s important that at the moment you introduce the novels, you also refer to the authors and the years of publication: Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” (1960); Imre Kertesz’s “Fatelessness” (1975). You should also try to be more specific regarding the types of “behaviours” expected from males and females in the years being discussed, not only by saying “they’re completely accurate”. Your attempt to answer the question is fairly good, but you must go beyond just saying “they fit/don’t fit into the roles”. An explanation and connection to the historical background of each novel must be provided. It’s risky if you state “In conclusion, we are able to determine that it’s almost impossible to see whether the books reflect or not the roles of men and women according to their settings”. It’s actually very possible, and it’s your job to identify how! You must also refer to the way in which the authors use word choice, descriptions and rhetorical devices to present this. Be careful with some sentence structure, singular and plural forms, word order and punctuation.
DANIEL SCHIEFELBEIN
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 3 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 3 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 2 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 3 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 4 /5 marks
Total Score: 15 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: I feel you were going in the right direction, but you should’ve specified and gone deeper into each of the points you presented in your essay! 310 words is a far too short essay. You must attempt to write between 800-1000 words, which is the word range for Language and Literature students! It’s not enough if you just identify how the authors’ backgrounds are linked to the stories they wrote, but what is the effect of this in the production of each piece, and how is it received by their potential audiences! You could have included more specific links to both novels and the way they are structured (author’s word choice, stylistic features, use of descriptions, etc). How does the word “negro” used consistently in Harper Lee’s work reflect the issue of discrimination and the social conventions of using that word in the 1940’s? How does the highly descriptive writing style of Imre Kertesz in “Fatelessness” help current audiences picture the atrocities of the Holocaust?
JAVIER ELGUETA
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 4 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 4 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 2 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 3 /5 marks
Total Score: 18 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Fairly good attempt at responding the essay question. It is necessary, though, that you include an analysis of how each writer’s language choices contribute to their messages being considered over generations. Careful with the use of -ing verbs in your very first sentence: “To begin with, throughout history, there’ve been universal themes that have been over the table for centuries” Wording is just confusing. Somtimes, it’s better to keep things simple. Also, careful with punctuation. There are a million ideas flowing and it’s usually difficult to follow the current. Watch some grammar conventions as well. I know you manage English grammar quite well, and lots of these mistakes could have been avoided with a careful revision of what you wrote after you finished.
JOSÉ KITZING
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 5 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 4 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 5 /5 marks
Total Score: 24 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Your essay is well-structured and clear. Language is also appropriate to the task. Be careful when identifying the genre of a novel. Both “Fatelessness” and “To Kill a Mockingbird” are fiction. All characters have been created by the authors. Non fiction refers to factual information, which includes texts such as essays, journals, memoirs, diaries, documentaries, scientific papers, biographies, journalism, etc. Remember that in both cases, it is said that the plot has been inspired by the authors’ personal lives, but they’re not fully auto-biographical.
JOSÉ TOMÁS GRÉ
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 4 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 4 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 3 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 3 /5 marks
Total Score: 19 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Be careful when referring to the historical context of each novel. You must be absolutely accurate regarding this. The plot of “To Kill a Mockingbird” takes place in the 1940’s. Also, watch subject-verb agreement, -s endings for 3rd person singular (present simple), some word order and punctuation. Also, it is necessary to refer to how stylistic features used by both authors contribute to your answering the essay question. The way in which Imre Kertezs chooses George Koves, in his teenage years, to narrate the story, as well as Harper Lee’s choice in using Scout as the narrator, and the effect of this in generations over time would have been a good element to explore.
MATÍAS WEITZ
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 4 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 2 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 3 /5 marks
Total Score: 19 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Be careful when referring to Harper Lee. She is a FEMALE author, so when you use the pronoun “he”, it creates confusion. Your essay is a good attempt at answering the essay question. The way in which you start off your essay is very engaging. However, you still need to refer to the way in which each writer’s writing style contributes to making their novels beloved by millions of people worlwide. Also, be very careful with the way in which you use language. I could identify various mistakes regarding subject-verb agreement, word order, tenses, and punctuation that can easily be avoided if you check after you write. I’m sure lots of these mistakes are due to the fact that you write too fast, so be careful with that!
PABLO ROMEU
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 4 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 3 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 3 /5 marks
Total Score: 20 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Fairly positive attempt at responding the essay question. I think you got it right from the moment you shared the following insight: “if history is not studied, it tends to repeat itself”. However, you also need to refer to each author’s writing style, the specific rhetorical strategies they consistently use throughout their works and the way it contributes to their messages being conveyed to different audiences at different times. Consider narrator’s point of view, use of descriptions to give account of historical settings, use of imagery, etc. Also, I felt you included more analysis for “Fatelessness” than “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Try to compare both works and provide an equal amount of analytical interpretation.
VICENTE REHBEIN
Criterion A Knowledge and understanding: 5 /5 marks
Criterion B Response to the question: 5 /5 marks
Criterion C Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features: 3 /5 marks
Criterion D Organization and development; 5 /5 marks
Criterion E Language: 5 /5 marks
Total Score: 23 /25 marks
OVERALL COMMENT: Very good literary essay! I would say your attempt at answering the essay question is the one I’ve liked the most from all our group. Very well-thought insights on the meaning of a text over time and references to both texts are appropriate an fit perfectly in your thesis statement. I would say the only thing you must add in your response is the way in which each author’s writing style (their rhetorical choices regarding use of language, point of view, descriptions, imagery, etc) contribute to the fact that their messages can be conveyed succesfully among generations.
Year 11 - Language and Literature 